Dear Diary...

Michelle, which, for those of you who are actually EPL fans, is my Katut. She's my voice of reason when I have none. Which is pretty damn frequently. 

A few years ago when I was very deeply in the hole, just clawing my way out... She bought me a journal for my birthday. 

She typed up quotes (mostly from EPL) and encouraged me to write my way through the mess. This was one month before my then husband moved out. 

Tonight I was moving my books and journals to my new bookshelf and I found this again. I have only written in this one page. 

This is why journals are so important. This is why writing your story is vital. Yes of course I write a blog to share my journey with others in the hopes that maybe one other person will connect and feel better. 

But more than that our stories serve as a reminder. 

I remember writing this page and thinking I would never come out, I would never get through it. 

And guess what? 

Not only did I come through it but truly, sincerely, I had some of the best years and times of my life since writing that page. 

And here I am again. That's the road of life friends, sometimes it circles us right back around because we didn't learn the lesson the first time around. 

As hard as these growing pains are for me in this moment they are just that-- growing pains. And like the seed, like the caterpillar, I'm going through a metamorphosis. 

And just like on 1.5.12 I will get through it   It may be the hard way, but I will get through it. 

I just love this -- 

I must remember always that God knows what he's doing, even if I don't. 

Thanks Katut. Who knew this brick would boomerang around and smack me in the face years later?  

You did. 


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