Anyway I've been doing some soul searching in my time away from home, and I've also been reading this little gem called The New Codependency.
It's made me think.
Codependency is another topic.
What I'm thinking about right now is this phrase a very good friend of mine and I came up with.
You know how I've talked on here about people who come into your life and lift you up and bring you joy and deliver energy and just generally make you better?
And I've also talked about the scary other type of person. The soul-sucking, life draining, try-to-avoid-at-all-costs takers. (Sadly sometimes we cannot avoid these people at all because they actually live in our homes.)
And then there is the third type of person. The UN. Theses are the really dangerous ones because these are the people that don't give and they don't take. But they exist in our lives and they take up headspace.
Because we let them.
Hey listen, what makes an UN so dangerous is the mere fact that they are hiding behind the facade of NOT being a soul sucker. But they are. Oh they are.
These are the people that get under our skin just enough to throw our state of peace off balance. Peace we've worked very hard to achieve. A lot of times we encounter these people on social media. You know, "friends who aren't really friends but they follow you anyway and make comments here and there that make you want to scream?"
Possibly a person you haven't seen in 10 years and even more likely, a person you'll never see again.
That's an UN.
Here's a good one, a person at work that you don't work closely with but you see them just enough that you have to maintain a good rapport with them. You may pass this person in the hallway or see them at the water cooler and make polite chit chat with them. My guess is you're probably even Facebook friends with this person. And it's all fine and good until that person makes one tiny comment that makes you cringe.
That's an UN.
We give thought and precious energy to these cringe-worthy comments and moments and we find ourselves obsessing over things that don't matter, because these people don't really "matter."
This is NOT to say that people don't matter. All people matter. But who matters to you?
More importantly, who deserves your time, your energy, your head space, and perhaps more importantly, your heart space?
The people who are lifting you up. The people who are there for you, really there for you when the chips are down. The people who make you laugh, and want to be better. The people who support you in your dreams and push you to be more. The people who, when you lose your way, help you find your true north. Your tribe.
This whole "simplifying" thing is all the rage. Cleaning closets, paring down the "things" that we own. I encourage you to reevaluate the people in your lives too. It might be time to clean out an emotional closet or two and make room for space in your heart and in your life for the people who deserve to, and should be there.