World Autism Awareness Day

EEEEEEK, I haven't posted since Christmas.  Ouch.


Today I sent out this email to my autism support group members and realized it kinda sounded a little like a blog post. Go figure.   So here goes.


No one asked for my two cents.  They usually don't but they get it anyway.  So here goes.

Today is World Autism Awareness Day.  That's awesome, but for us, every day is "autism awareness day."  What *IS* important about the UN recognizing autism as a "world" day is that it "shines a light" (pun intended) on autism.   I'm sure you've all read the CDC report by now that the rate of autism is at 1 in 88.  The scariest part of that report is that it was based on data from 2008.   And yet EVERY SINGLE DAY I get asked "What is autism?"

Is fundraising important?  Yes.

Is research important?  Yes.

Is finding solutions important?  Yes.

Is finding answers important?  Yes. 

Is providing help, support, and services important?  Yes, yes, YES!

But-- it STARTS with awareness.  Here's why.   When you become AWARE you ask questions.  When you ask questions you learn the answers.  When you learn more, you want to KNOW more.  And when you KNOW more you want to help more.  Why would ANYONE want to donate money to a cause they don't even know what it's for?  Why would anyone want to fund research for a problem they don't know exists?  Who cares about solutions they don't even know are needed?  Who wants to provide help and support for families they don't even know what they are up against?  I'm just trying to keep it real.  We KNOW what cancer is.  We KNOW what it looks like.  We know about AIDS and diabetes and downs syndrome.  And yet MORE kids are diagnosed with autism than ANY OTHER OF THOSE COMBINED.  COMBINED.  And I still get asked EVERY DAY "what is autism?"  

That scares me.

This is why-- your blue lightbulb is important this month.  This is why wearing your blue shirt is important.  This is why wearing your puzzle piece is important.  This is why having a magnet on your car is important.  This is why your facebook status is important.  This is why your twitter updates count.  Susan G. Komen didn't "own" the color pink.  She took it over.  Breast cancer took it over.  You don't see a pink ribbon and NOT know what it's for.  In October EVERYTHING is pink.  Freaking MUSHROOMS have pink labels.  Batteries.  MONKEY BUTT POWDER (I am not making that up people it was at Walgreens)  EVERYTHING IS PINK IN OCTOBER.  But it wasn't always.  It took Susan G. YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS of ONE PERSON AT A TIME wearing pink.  Using pink.  

I want blue labels on mushrooms.  I want blue monkey butt powder.  I want EVERYONE to see the color blue and think of autism.  Really, I just want people to think about autism.  Period.

OK that's my soap box about making a difference.  You DO make a difference.  Every family who has a blue lightbulb on their porch MAKES A DIFFERENCE.  Those of you wearing your puzzles -- YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE.  Start a conversation.  I PRAY someone asks you "why in the sam hell do you have blue lightbulbs on  your porch?"  ANSWER THEM.  WITH PRIDE.

Now, let's get inspired here.  Cuz it's also kind of a hard day too.  I'm going to type here 3 words that are not mine.  I cannot think of anything more inspiring when it comes to autism.

Different.  Not Less.

When you want to give up, when you want to LOSE IT, when you want to trade your kids in, when you want to run away, when you want to cry (go ahead, that one is allowed), remember that our babies are different, but they are not less.  And when you start to doubt it, say it over and over and over and and over again in your head.  Just like Eustacia Cutler said it about her beautiful daughter Temple Grandin.   Temple Grandin who was so severely autistic they wanted to lock her up in a mental institution.  Temple Grandin who grew up to REVOLUTIONIZE the cattle industry.  Not change it, REVOLUTIONIZE it.   Not because she's a savant (although Temple is mad crazy smart) but because she has autism.  And that autism allowed her to look at something in a DIFFERENT way.  Today Temple has more PhDs than I know of.  She tours the world speaking about autism.  She tours the world speaking about cattle.  She's somewhere in her 60's.  She's so inspiring.  Guess what?  She still has autism.  She still struggles with many of the things our babies struggle with.  So today, look at your babies in a different way.  

This 2 minute promo gives me chills.   Watch it.   

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpkN0JdXRpM

And while you're at it, pat YOURSELF on the back.  Show your pride today not just for your babies, but for YOU too.....the mama and daddy warriors fighting the good fight.  And remember -- you are not alone!

Christmas Magic

Last week I was talking with a friend about Christmas.  This friend was a little "Bah Humbug" about it all.  And truthfully, I have been a little more "Scrooge" this year than I usually am and I haven't been able to figure out why.   Until now.

So my friend is saying that Christmas is "just for the children."   And I went on to explain that I didn't necessarily agree (shocking) and that Christmas is about family -- the one you're born into and the one you choose along the way.  This just a few short weeks after spending a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday with friends I've chosen along the way ~ so the subject was near and dear to my heart.  Friend continues to argue with me that the decorations and all of the surrounding hullabaloo are really just for kids to enjoy.   And guess what -- I think Friend may have been kind of right.  (Dear Friend, if you are reading this, you may want to print and frame this post because I'm quite certain I'll never admit that you're right ever again heee heee)

Because here's the thing.  Once you become an adult, you become RESPONSIBLE for creating that magic.  And yeah, part of that is AWESOME.  That moment when your kids come down Christmas morning to see the loot that awaits, them -- WORTH IT.   Sitting down to the lip smacking meal that you've labored over FOREVER -- WORTH IT.  Giving the perfect gift.... THE....perfect gift......... WORTH IT.

Sidebar:  If you've ever read "The 5 Love Languages" (and if you haven't, you should), my love language is "Gifts."  Or so I thought.  My love language is actually GIVING gifts, not receiving them.  (Don't get me wrong, I love me some presents)  I love love love love love listening to people give clues at any given moment and remembering those clues when it's time to give them the perfect gift.  Better yet I love getting that gift right then and there and knowing it's tucked away for months before it's time to give it to them.  It's a secret little "happy" that I know I have waiting it my closet.  I get a complete thrill knowing that I've hit the nail on the head and when the expression on the receiver's face says just that. Anyone can buy you a sweater.  A select few might be able to even get you "the perfect" sweater.  But........"the perfect gift" is something else entirely.  You know it when you get it.  And you know it when you give it.  

Back to Christmas.  Some of us have those pesky things called JOBS.  And kids.  And spouses, and houses to clean and bills to pay and dinners to cook and family to entertain and so on and so forth ad infinitum.  So when it comes to taking EXTRA time to "create" the magic of Christmas........

it's a little exhausting.

And maybe, just MAYBE a tad daunting?

I know, I know, many of you are disagreeing with me right now.  I get it.  It's OK.

I said to my husband the other day, "It's sad, I look at the Christmas tree and all I see is a JOB.  A job waiting to be done for HOURS on December 26th."  

Kids don't think that.  I assure you.  

Kids don't think about all the gifts that need to be wrapped and mailed ON TIME, the hundred cards that need to be addressed and mailed ON TIME (lets not forget the labor that goes into creating the "perfect" holiday picture for said card), the groceries that need to be purchased, the schedules that need to be juggled, the cookies that need to be baked, the hair that needs to be done, the seemingly THOUSANDS of thoughtful teacher gifts that  need to be purchased and wrapped, etc etc etc etc.

etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc ...............

Seriously, the list that goes into creating "Christmas magic" is 193 miles long.

So I'm making myself a promise.  Next year, who cares if the cookies aren't perfect or for that matter even done on time?  Who cares if the gift wrapping isn't "just so."  It is, after all about "the perfect gift" not about "the perfect wrapping."   I want to make taking DOWN the tree just as fun as putting UP the tree.  Let's make cleaning up the dinner mess as joyful as actually EATING the dinner.  Why not?

$hit happens.  Life happens.  This morning I woke up and had my day planned down to the wire.  I was going to get SO MUCH DONE.  SO MUCH crossed off my list.  SO MUCH accomplished.

Know what I got instead?  A 7 year old with a raging case of double pink eye.

Know what else I got?  A day to spend hanging out with him on the couch watching movies.  (And aggressively washing my hands regularly)

So Merry Christmas to me!!!!!!!!!

And Merry Christmas (Happy Holidays) to you, too.  Enjoy it.  Look at it like a kid would.  Breathe.  NO ONE and I mean NO ONE will remember if they didn't get their present on time.  What they WILL remember is "the perfect gift."  NO ONE will remember if your cookies weren't perfectly round.  What they will remember is how they tasted.  You'll never remember doing the Christmas dishes.  They'll get done.  Eventually.  It will all get done.  So sit back and enjoy the moments that make up Christmas magic.  Whether you're responsible for creating them, or not.