Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Adventure is waiting....

There are a few of you who already know my "big announcement" but for those of you who don't, read on.

This weekend, I'm going to training to be certified to become a yoga instructor for kids.

Now, there's a lot of questions that go along with this statement.  The first of which is usually... "Wait, kids do yoga?"

Do kids MOVE?  Like... at all?  OK, then they are doing yoga.  Yoga is the foundation for ALL movement.  Yes really.

I see a whole lot of yoga going on in this picture.

Look at this kid stretching for soccer or basketball or whatever "manly" sport he's prepping for.
 Yup, that's yoga.

Wait, a PLANK is yoga?  Oh yes.

I googled some gymnastics photos. 

That's called "Natarajasana" or "Dancers Pose"

Yoga, Yoga, Yoga.

Looks like Yoga to me!

This is just bad a$$ and makes me smile.

Have you ever seen a child bend over and touch their toes?  That's called Uttanasana, or "forward fold," but it's yoga.  

So I could go on about this topic all day but I'm going to save that for my website, which, by the way, is www.allkidzmove.com

That's my logo.  I think it's pretty cute. 

Here's the deal, for the last year I was working at a grocery store.  And I'm not at all "above" working at a grocery store, and there were many benefits of working there, the biggest of which was that they were extremely flexible with my schedule.  That's VERY important to me, as being home for my boys is the most important thing to me.  But the reality is, I felt underemployed, under appreciated, under EVERYTHING and it started to sort of suck my soul.  In the meantime I would pick up occasional substitute teaching jobs, and on those days, I found myself alive and energized.  Then one day, this little girl came into the store I was working at and we just started chatting and talking (she was about 4) and she looked up at me with wonder and awe and loved that I was showing her attention and caring about what she had to say (heck, isn't that what we all want?).  By the end of our encounter she wanted to come over to my house and do crafts.  And as she was walking out the door I wanted to scream, "WAIT COME BACK!!!!!!!" and the rest of my shift stocking grocery shelves felt a bit.... empty.

And that's when I realized.  Children fill my bucket.  TEACHING children, working with children, engaging with children, it fills my bucket.

A few months prior to that I had started doing yoga myself and was beginning to LOVE it and feel the difference in my body and in my mind.  One night I was looking at the bulletin board and a flyer was up for Karma Kids teacher training and certification.

This is exactly what went through my mind:

"Well that's just TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.  Teaching, kids, yoga, making my own schedule, and working where I want to work, locally."  "No way."

The seed was planted.

And every time I went to yoga I stared at that flyer.  But I didn't say a word to anyone.  I just sort of planted the seed deep in my heart and decided to wait and see what happened.

Guess what?  It grew into something I became called to do.

Again, I kept thinking it's just too good to be true.  There's NO WAY a job so perfect exists for me.  JUST.... NO.... WAY.

And I started talking to my friends about it and they all said, "WHY NOT?"  "Why doesn't this exist for you?"

Well now, that's a GREAT question.

Imagine that.

So that's what I'm doing.  I'm thinking of what could go right and not obsessing over what can go wrong.  I'm taking the leap.  My cape is securely fastened and I'm ready to fly.  

Stay tuned, after this weekend there will be MANY more updates and announcements as I begin to cross my T's and dot my I's on the business end of this.  

In the meantime, I am SO EXCITED for my training this weekend!  BEYOND excited!  Send me well wishes, encouragement, and prayers!

Sunday, September 7, 2014

The heart of the matter

Since the dawn of time, nothing has inspired more writing than a good breakup.  Romeo and Juliet was kind of a doozy (talk about a break up gone wrong).  Don't even get me started with music.  I mean, would country music even exist without breakups?  Would Taylor Swift's musical career?  I digress. My point is, I've been doing a lot of writing and it's been coming from a place of great hurt and devastation.

This morning at church my good friend Scott prayed over me and he took my hands and he looked me square in the eyes and said, "You don't have time for this distraction.  And that's all it is.  A distraction. Let it go."  Then I came home and  called my dad.  But first I cried and snotted all over Scott.  I think after all these weeks I need to buy him a new shirt.  

Oh this topic could be a blog in and of itself.  You see Bernie (yup, real name) knew about David all along.  He saw it within the first five minutes.  And he tried to tell me.  And I got, yanno angry because parents are NEVER right, especially not dads, and especially not MY dad.  So I didn't call my dad for about 3 months.  I didn't want him to know he was right (of course he already knew).  I didn't want him to know I was broken hearted (of course he already knew) and  most of all, I didn't want him to know I had failed at one more thing (of course he didn't think I had).  Sometimes, that thing we avoid the most is the thing we NEED the most. 

Because here's what my dad said.  

"You're MY daughter.  You're stronger than this and you're better than this and you just have to cut it loose."

I hear the collective screams of everyone on my team saying "WE'VE BEEN TELLING YOU THIS FOR MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  But you know, when your dad says it, then you kinda don't have a choice.  I mean really, he's my DAD.  He's 70+.  You don't argue.  You just DO.  

I'm his only child.  He's not exactly excited with my current state of heartbreak but he tells it like he sees it (I came by it honestly people).   

No amount of dwelling is going to make this situation better.  

Today in church Chris Overstreet talked about asking God for a heart transplant.  Not the kind you see on TV where there's a literal physical beating heart being transported in a cooler, but the supernatural kind, where you pray to God to change your heart

Well this really rang my bell because this is all I've been praying for for the better part of two months.  

So it was no surprise when some very beautiful, powerful women came to lay hands and pray over me, I asked for my heart to be healed.  Chris Overstreet said, "If there's any part of your body that is broken and needs healing, let us pray for it now."  Well my heart, it's broken.  Shattered.  But... I could see the light.  I just needed that tiny push over the edge.  So these women came and laid hands on me, one of them being LeeAnn, also known as Marlee's "real mom" (whatevs!)... I looked her square in the face and just said "My heart." And she began to pray for my healing.

Now y'all know I'm not any sort of religious weirdo, right?

Here's what happened.  These three women all laid hands on me, prayed for my heart, prayed for my healing.  OK fine.  That's "swell."  And then we went back to singing and doing our church thing.   And my heart, it um, started to hurt.  Like as in, "Call the doctor, I think I'm in cardiac arrest,"  kind of hurt. No joke, I was clutching at my heart.  It was beating so hard I was pretty sure my rib cage was going to burst.  

It scared me.

But I let it go, and let it happen. 

I uhhhhhhhhhhhh, surrendered it to God.

Cuz I'm so good at surrendering control right?

Here's the thing.  How could I POSSIBLY be scared?  I was getting EXACTLY what I had prayed for. 

A heart transplant.

And I stood there with everyone singing and praying around me and I was getting dizzy and lightheaded and I continued to stand there in absolute stillness and hold my heart.  I was almost channeling my OWN power and my OWN strength to transplant my OWN heart. 

Wait, what?

That's just weird.  


Not really.  Because..... wait for it.... God put the power in me.  Of course it was there all along.  All these weeks of suffering, whining, CRYING (My God the tears!  The never ending tears!).... all I needed to do was  surrender  and as soon as I did that, the power became mine.  And in that power I harvested it and let it alllllllllllllllllllllll go.

And my heart began to calm.

My body began to adjust to my newly transplanted heart.

Kinda crazy, right?

Yup, I know it is.  But stay with me, because this ride is JUST getting started and I cannot wait to see where we go next.  

Here's the tricky part.  As we know, bodies can reject transplants.  Am I going to choose to let this one take, or am I going to be "the enemy" inside my own mind that spits this new heart out???

I am my father's daughter, and therefore I only have one choice.

"Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I built my life."  JK Rowling

One heartbeat at a time.