Dream with integrity

  
This was said at church tonight and it really resonates with me. God plants seeds and dreams in us and we are not to doubt them or question them. We are to go forth and live-- to put life and integrity in those dreams. Furthermore, we need to listen to the dream that God is giving to us, planting in us. 

Sometimes we create dreams in our own minds. We have our own plan. This isn't for us to decide. That's where surrender comes in. 

Throughout my life I've had many broken dreams. This is something we can all relate to. As a professional, as a mother, as a wife, as a woman, as a human. But we must stay the course. God is preparing us to fulfill the dream.

I have a dream of writing a book. This was not something I woke up
and decided to do. This is a seed that was planted in me. Over the years I've questioned it. I've picked it up, I've put it down-- in short, I haven't lived in the integrity of that dream. I, in all of my glorious imperfection have pulled at the threads of that dream and made 
it weak. I have doubted the dream. I have wondered over the course of the years if it's really even mine. Of course now I know it is not. I am merely a vessel. 

Similarly, I have tried to force a dream and goals that were all my great ideas into fruition. It's doesn't work that way. You can't force something that's not natural. It ends up feeling icky. As I said many times throughout the the course of my marraige, "it's like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. There's nothing wrong with the peg.... or the hole, but both end up damaged." 

It's a sure fire way to end up with a broken heart. Just as fulfilled dreams can make our hearts soar to places we never imagined-- a broken dream can quite honestly break your spirit. 

We MUST learn to let go. 
It makes me think of a song. No not THAT one-- the one where Garth Brooks says, "sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers." 

We must be grateful for the winters that bring us springs. I know this. My divorce, as hard as it was, it's part of my story. THE story. The one I'm meant to write. This crazy insane heartbreak over David? Had to happen. Period. Had to. THE story couldn't happen without it, because I wouldn't be the me I am without it. 

It's all part of the dream, even when it doesn't feel so "dreamy." 

So go on, steal my sparkly new screensaver for your phone. Remind yourself every time you pick that thing up to infuse your dreams with integrity. In doing so, you will live your life with the integrity that you've been dreaming of. 

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