Do you ever say a word over and over and over again until it starts to sound kind of weird?

My dear readers we are about to take this blog on a journey to that place.

For quite sometime, I've been wanting to get a new tattoo.  It's an odd thing, the call to get inked.  I'm not one of those people that has a ton of things tattoos on her body, nor to I have the desire to have a ton of things tattooed on my body.  But nonetheless, I heard the call to get inked.   I knew this tattoo would be a word.  I knew it would be on my wrist and I knew what I needed was a reminder.

I struggled for the better part of two years with what my word should be.  This is kind of an odd phenomenon since as those of you who read my blog know, I already have a word.  My word, is doorway

But doorway is not the word that was calling to be permanently inked on my body.

So I started going through a list.

Surrender was very high on my list.  After my recent baptism, I thought this would be appropriate, to surrender to God.  The reminder on my body, every single day to surrender to my thoughts to surrender to my higher power.  And in recent years I have really started to think about the concept of surrendering our junk.  What do I mean by that?  I mean that some of us harbor or ugly, unhealthy junk for so long that we become used to it.  That carrying that weight becomes a part of our very being, becomes a part of who we are, becomes so much a part of us that we ca't be let go of it, because if we do, we won't even know what to do and how to respond to it. The very notion of legging go of our baggage means letting go of a comfortable part of ourselves. The concept being then, that we have to  surrender we have to be willing to let go of our junk in order to become the best versions of ourselves.  But I've realized there are A LOT of people in this world who aren't willing to do that.  Who aren't willing to let go, who aren't willing to surrender, who aren't willing to leave the junk behind, and are certainly not willing to even admit that they aren't currently the best version of themselves.  However, I'm not one of those people, and therefore, surrender didn't quite fit for me.

Next I started asking my girls, my team, what they thought my "tattoo" word should be.  Leave it to my best friend to point out the obvious.  "Your word is now, and always has been, believe.  I've written a post or two about the word believe so I won't get too deep into it here.  But I was sold on this obvious choice.  I need to believe in myself, believe in God, believe in those around me, believe in hope, believe in the unknown, believe in what I can do within myself.

And yet, I still didn't have a tattoo on my wrist.

 I just wasn't quite sold on it.  And  to be honest, if I'm going to have something tattooed on my body for the rest of my days, I kind of wanted to be totally sure.  

And then it came to me.
I was scrolling through pinterest and I saw the word.  And once I saw the word there was absolutely no doubt.  I was completely certain  that this was my "tattoo word."  Remember, my "tattoo word" is a word that serves as a reminder.  A word on my body that I can ready at any time at any moment that reminds me of what I need.

I.  Am.  Enough.

I come in to any situation with enough.  The day I was baptized Pastor Steve said, "Imagine walking into ANY battle knowing you've already won."  I replay those words in my head a thousand times a day.  I know I've already won because I come to the battle with enough.  God is always enough.  God has given me enough.  He has made me enough.  

I've had enough.  I've had enough of my own negative thoughts.  I've  really, really had enough of your negative thoughts about me.

Sometimes there are situations in which enough, is quite simply, enough.  And I just need to walk way.  Kind of like this quote

Also this one is pretty good

I am enough.
I have enough.
Enough is enough.

All this talk about enough has really made me ponder the question, "Is there ever a time when 'good' is 'good enough?"  I've been thinking about it so much, that it might be the topic of the book I write someday, but I digress.  Let's talk about it here as it relates to my wrist.

You see there ARE actually times when good, is good enough.  As someone with just a touch of OCD (ha ha ha) I have a tendency to think and over think and ruminate on things until I create a problem that didn't even exist.  I've had enough of that.

Sometimes enough has to be enough because it's all I have.  Period.  I keep a lot of balls in the air at any given moment.  I am only one person.  Sometimes, enough has to be enough because that's all,  and that's the best I've got.

I've had enough  of trying to map out every moment of my future.  Who am I kidding?  I've had enough of trying to control my future.  There is no controlling my future.  I'm not in charge.  I've had enough of forgetting that.  There's a bigger plan here.  Someone else is in charge, not me.  God does not make mistakes. I am not a mistake and the situations in my life sure as hell aren't.

I've had enough of not having enough patience with myself to wait it out and watch my life unfold and do my part and give my best and LISTEN.

But here's what I know after 41 years on earth.  When it comes to matters of the heart, the soul, and the mind, good is absolutely NEVER good enough.  I need to remember who I am.  Why I was put on this planet.  Whose child I actually am.  What my purpose really is, and what I truly deserve.  And if I'm not getting what I deserve, well, then I've had enough.  Of whatever situation, thing, or person isn't giving me what I need in order to feel like, and be, say it with me now, enough.  

There's an awful lot of meaning, and even more personal attachment given to a tiny little word.  

Dear readers, what is your word?  Even if you never have any intention of getting a tattoo, take a moment to truly think about it.  What is the word that defines you? What is the word that you need to be reminded of?  Write it down.  Write it down in several places.  Post it notes are awesome for that.  Take a dry erase marker and write it on your bathroom mirror.  Put a note on your computer.  Make that word the screensaver for your phone.  Let that word become your anthem, your mission, your driving force.  Attach a ton of meaning to a tiny little word and make it yours.  And use that word.  Let that word remind you and motivate you to be the person you were destined to be.

And in case you were wondering or had any doubt at all,

you are enough.  

Huge thanks and shout out to Kustom Thrills Tattoo for such beautiful work!


Popular posts from this blog

Part two, in which I tattoo the word THRIVE on my body

Just surviving.

I'm too busy THRIVING