Thrive As You

I've never actually thought of myself as a writer  per se.   Several years ago, my friend encouraged me to start a blog about what it's like to be an autism mama.  She thought maybe some people might like to hear what I had to say about my journey, my walk, with autism.  And so I did. I'm an avid reader, but that doesn't make me qualified to write .  I've always loved writing, I was the editor of our yearbook in high school, wrote for the school paper, etc.  Essays were my favorite kind of tests.  I excel with words.  I think it has something to do with talking so much.  But I've never taken a class on writing, on grammar, on where punctuation should go and stuff.  As a substitute teacher I have found myself googling the most basic of grammar questions because I just forgot all of those endless rules.  I always tell the students, "Listen, it's been about 100 years since I was in 4th grade."  And sometimes it feels like just ...

Oh my dear friends, it has been exactly 30 days since my last post!  Eeeeeek! Let me tell you why. I fell off the bandwagon.  Not just the "writing" bandwagon.  The "me" bandwagon. Sunday in church we were discussing testimonies and sharing our stories.  I do a pretty good job of sharing my story with anyone who wants to land on this website.  The interesting part of the sermon was that Pastor Mark was talking about sharing our story (in turn, sharing God's glory) before we are even actually healed. I'm even BETTER at that. So I stood up and said that, yanno, like to everyone in the congregation.  Don't worry, I wasn't the only one. I'm not healed.  I may never be "healed."  What does that even mean, exactly?  It's kind of like in the autism community when we talk about "normal."  Is there such a thing? To say that I am "healed" is to suggest that I have nothing going on in my life that causes me ...

Since the dawn of time, nothing has inspired more writing than a good breakup.   Romeo and Juliet was kind of a doozy (talk about a break up gone wrong).  Don't even get me started with music.  I mean, would country music even exist without breakups?  Would Taylor Swift's musical career?  I digress. My point is, I've been doing a lot of writing and it's been coming from a place of great hurt and devastation. This morning at church my good friend Scott prayed over me and he took my hands and he looked me square in the eyes and said, "You don't have time for this distraction.  And that's all it is.  A distraction. Let it go."  Then I came home and  called my dad.  But first I cried and snotted all over Scott.  I think after all these weeks I need to buy him a new shirt.   Oh this topic could be a blog in and of itself.  You see Bernie (yup, real name) knew about David all along.  He saw it within the first fi...

I know!  Let's talk about doorways! Opening, closing, swinging, hitting you in face, getting bolted shut.  You know the drill. Here's a dirty little secret that's actually not a secret.  I SUCK at  following my own advice.  I suck at even listening to myself.  Oh I listen alright, but to the "other" voices in my head.  The ones that tell me I'm worthless, not enough, a failure, have been rejected and so on. Anyone else familiar with this? How many of you out there struggle with doing something you KNOW you MUST do... and yet you don't.  You can't.  You won't. Things that are essential to your very survival.  And yet you still can't.  It's a little like an addiction, don't you think? You know with absolute certainty that smoking will kill you and yet you still light up. You know that if you lose that money you can't make your house payment and yet you lay it on the table anyway.  You know that your cholesterol is ...

Just yesterday I was talking to a very dear friend of mine and I asked him what his word was.  He answered "Believe."  Which is, of course, as mentioned here,  my original word.  I let him have it, both because he played the "I'm older than you," card and because, I'm starting to learn that our words can change, and for that matter should change, just as the seasons of our life. Doorway will of course always be my "thing."  And I love the word " doorwa y" and all it represents, but but it never quite sat with me that my word...... was a noun.   You would think after getting the word "Enough" tattooed on my wrist that, in fact, would be my word for this season of my life, but it's not.  "Enough" is the word I need to read every day, several hundred times a day as a reminder.  But it's not, "My word." My word, is fearless.  It seems virtually impossible, doesn't it?  To live without fear...

A lot of people are curious about how I, April Schmidt came to be baptized yesterday.  After all I've spent the last 20 years or so denouncing religion in general.  The truth is, I'm still not a major fan of "religion" but that's another blog post FOR SURE.  The thing about this wonderful church I've found, or rather was led to (more on that in a minute) is that they aren't really all that concerned with "religion" either.  All they want to do is help you have a relationship with God.  That statement alone is what got me to walk in the door. So a bit of history.............. I feel like I have to tell the story of HOW I got to this moment. I was teaching preK  and I had this student.  Looking back now, I can see that she wasn't "my favorite," but I was drawn to her light.  Every day I looked forward to seeing this little 4 year old angel and her smile just made my day.  I was going through my divorce, but not going through my A...