Thrive As You

There are moments since my recent breakup with "my David" where I feel as though the air is being vaccummed out of my lungs.   Where the chains around my chest are so tight that I'm certain my heart will quite literally, break.  The odd thing about this, the part I really struggle with-- is that I don't want "David" back in my life. At all. So why does this hurt so damn bad?  Why can I go days and be completely fine and then have moments where I'm struggling to find oxygen and to even stand?  It truly makes no sense to me. I understand the logic and the reasoning behind all of it. I understand that David (as he shall now be known) served a purpose in my life. To teach me a lesson. I understand that God placed him in my life for a season, for a reason. That he was both a blessing and a lesson.  I understand that David being in my life helped make me who I am, and that David leaving my life is helping me change and grow as well.  I get it.  So why does i...

I know!  Let's talk about doorways! Opening, closing, swinging, hitting you in face, getting bolted shut.  You know the drill. Here's a dirty little secret that's actually not a secret.  I SUCK at  following my own advice.  I suck at even listening to myself.  Oh I listen alright, but to the "other" voices in my head.  The ones that tell me I'm worthless, not enough, a failure, have been rejected and so on. Anyone else familiar with this? How many of you out there struggle with doing something you KNOW you MUST do... and yet you don't.  You can't.  You won't. Things that are essential to your very survival.  And yet you still can't.  It's a little like an addiction, don't you think? You know with absolute certainty that smoking will kill you and yet you still light up. You know that if you lose that money you can't make your house payment and yet you lay it on the table anyway.  You know that your cholesterol is ...